“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” -Romans 8:18
There is a grief that can feel difficult to share with others – the grief of an aging single woman who always wanted to be a mother. First, it’s difficult to articulate because it often feels wrong, like a grief I never earned the right to have as an unmarried person. Second, I would never want to distract from or minimize the deep pain of couples experiencing infertility.
There are waves of deep sadness knowing that I may never have my own children, followed by waves of hope knowing that God is the one writing my story (and he doesn’t make mistakes). I anticipate that this ebb and flow of sadness and hope will last (on some level) throughout my life.
I think this is what can really frighten young single women who hope for marriage and motherhood – unfulfilled desires that remain desires. It’s a future that appears as though triumph was replaced by longing and prayers replaced with lament.
But is that really true?
Only if God isn’t both sovereign and good.
And just to set the record straight:
God IS sovereign over every detail of our lives and God IS good all of the time.
Unmet desires that remain unmet for an unknown reason won’t have the last word. Salvation will. Redemption will. Sovereignty will. Goodness will.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” -Psalm 23:6
And just to put friends who are mothers at ease, the joy and gratefulness I feel for you and the children that God has provided you with is exponentially greater than any sadness I feel not being a mom. I love you and your children!
Leave a comment