As a young woman, if someone had mentioned the possibility that I may have struggled with lust, I would have fiercely protested. How could I possibly struggle with lust as a young Christian woman? I knew for sure that I didn’t struggle in this way… Ah, but time revealed a different story, a story of mentally lingering on fantasies, ruminating on images, and insisting that my imagination provide gratification for my longing for marriage. My protests against struggling with sexual temptation didn’t erase the battle for my soul that was taking place, or the deep sadness and loneliness that it left me with. Throughout the past two decades, I’ve had many, many friends – dear friends, friends I love, and friends who love Jesus – struggle with pornography addiction, masturbation, same-sex attraction, and gender dysphoria. Some struggled quietly and internally; others found themselves entangled in destructive relationships.
I’m going to say something that might be uncomfortable to think about, but after decades of singleness and interactions with many single women over the years, I believe that it’s true: every single woman struggles with purity. It may look different and vary in severity, but all struggle on some level. My purpose in saying this isn’t to minimize the severity of sin or encourage anyone to share the details of struggles they have in a public space; rather, my heart in bringing up this topic is 1) To remind those who struggle in this area that they are not alone and 2) To encourage anyone struggling to seek community among other Christian women they trust.
The enemy loves to keep things hidden, to overwhelm with shame, and to encourage the lie that if anyone knew our struggles, we’d be rejected.
This isn’t how God operates.
Conviction and confession of sin is an evidence of God’s grace.
1 John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
This is the promise that we have in Jesus Christ! Faithfulness, forgiveness, and cleansing, not rejection.
We live in a society and a moment in technology where both men and women are aggressively targeted by images, interactions, and storylines that carry destruction veiled as promises of connection and satisfaction.
Don’t buy into the lie that these things will bring happiness, and you need to keep your struggles hidden. There is grace to be found in Jesus and there are so many fellow Christians who have a heart to walk alongside you as friends in these struggles.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” -Hebrews 4:15-16
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