“My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
-Psalm 73-26
Some clouds will never lift in this life.
It’s a hard reality to process, especially in the midst of circumstances in which suffering is a daily agony and tears really are our food (Psalm 42:3).
Trusting God and looking to him for provision, redemption, joy, and comfort doesn’t remove the brokenness of a world marked by sin and death. There are sufferings – pain, loss, injustice, grief, betrayal, and heartache – that will not be resolved or understood until after such things have passed away. Some tears will continue to flow until our Savior personally wipes each one of them away (Revelation 21:4).
To acknowledge this isn’t a lack of faith. The pain, sadness, trauma, struggles, and depression that can feel like they haunt us throughout our lives isn’t evidence of God’s displeasure with us. It isn’t because we didn’t pray enough or trust enough.
While it’s common to read stories of how Christian friends and leaders have shared oversimplified, well meaning, yet unhelpful thoughts to sufferers (i.e. the “Just trust God and it will all work out” mantras), the most damaging commentaries often come from the accuser within.
“Why is this so hard for me?”
“Did I sin or miss God’s will? I can’t understand why else this is happening?”
“If I had been a better Christian this wouldn’t have happened.”
“God wouldn’t have let this happen to me unless I deserved it.”
“Why can’t I just get over it?”
“Why am I STILL struggling?”
Intense, perpetual, seemingly never-ending suffering is like a mirror maze. It’s easy to become lost in the morbidly self-reflective “why” and “how” of our circumstances. It magnifies pain and confusion to the point of being overwhelmed.
Our hearts fail us.
They can’t take anymore.
How could they?
How does God response when the burdens of life crush us? He shows compassion.
Broken by Suffering: The Story of Jacob
In Genesis 37-47, you would read the well-known, much beloved story of Joseph. It’s the powerful story of God’s power to work good in the midst of great evil and preserve his people. In the background of this story, there’s also another story – the story of a man utterly broken by suffering. When Jacob’s sons falsely bring report of Joseph’s death, Genesis 37:5 says:
All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted and said, “No, I shall go down to Sheol, to my son, mourning.”
He believed his sorrow would follow him to the grave. Years later, Jacob is still overwhelmed by this loss, which is expressed in his fear over sending his son Benjamin with his brothers to Egypt”
If harm should happen to him on the journey that you are to make, you would bring down my grey hairs to Sheol (Genesis 43:38).
Even when Jacob learns that Joseph was alive and wanted to see him, his heart was still marked by deep weariness from suffering. He responded, “It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive. I will go and see him before I die” (Genesis 45:28).
Loss, suffering, fear, and grief had so marked Jacob’s life that death was a frequent thought. Intense suffering had convinced him that his life was near its end.
When God speaks to Jacob in the following chapter, we don’t hear God full of rebuke, we don’t hear God’s anger, we hear grace and mercy:
I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt for there I will make you into a great nation. I myself will go down with you to Egypt and I will also bring you up again, and Joseph’s hand shall close your eyes (Genesis 46:304).
God was reminding Jacob of who he is – compassionate, faithful, fulfiller of all his promises, working good in the midst of all that Jacob had suffered. Jacob could entrust himself – broken, grief-stricken, and fragile – to his God.
As the story continues, we still see Jacob marked by the burden of long suffering. When Joseph and Jacob are reunited at last, he says, “Now let me die, since I have seen your face and know that you are still alive” (Genesis 46:30). Jacob later describes the days of his life as “few and evil” (Genesis 47:9).
Jacob’s latter years were marked by the weariness to the point that he despaired of life, expecting that death was the only thing that could be in his future.
But God –
He wasn’t finished.
God’s response to Jacob’s exclamation, “Now let me die” was to give him 17 more years surrounded by his family and being cared for by Joseph (Genesis 47:27).
At the end of his life, as Jacob prophetically begins to bless his sons he says:
The God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked, the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day… (Genesis 48:15)
Jacob’s final words were not of longing for death to escape suffering, they were of God’s faithfulness to all generations.
God’s Promises to Broken Sufferers
For my dear friends struggling with the kind of suffering that never seems to end, for those who are at their breaking point (and perhaps well beyond their breaking point, God isn’t looking at you with a microscope waiting for you to “have a better response” or “repent” before he gives grace. His heart is to show you steadfast love and compassion and comfort today, in the midst of deep pain and heartache.
I don’t know the depth of the suffering you are going through. I don’t know why God has allowed these circumstances in your life, but I know that God delights to draw near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
Our hearts fail us. Our bodies fail. Even when we trust God’s purposes for lives, we STILL struggle with the mystery of why God allows certain suffering in our lives.
Suffering permanently marks us, breaks us, and sometimes it can feel like the best days are gone and only more suffering lies in the future.
But it’s not the end of the story.
The story of Jacob is a precious reminder that even when we are faced with pain, confusion, fear, and deep depression that seem like it will never lift, God isn’t finished.
The God who gave us salvation from sin and death through Jesus Christ, our suffering Savior, will be faithful to sustain us until every storm has passed.
He is the good Shepherd who will lead us through the darkest of valleys.
He will comfort us along the way.
He will fulfill all of the promises that he has made.
He will keep us when we break into pieces.
He will strengthen us when we have nothing left to give.
He will work good from evil, even if we don’t see it yet.
He will be the one to sustain us. We don’t have pretend we have any strength left.
He will safely bring us to our eternal home.
When our hearts and our flesh fail us – and they will fail us – He is our strength and our portion forever (Psalm 73:26).
