“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” -Psalm 16:6
Being single at 21 versus being single at 35+ isn’t the same season. Singleness has many seasons. In and just after college is a season of coming into adulthood, being established in faith, and developing character that will serve or hinder for the decades to come. On the flipside, the “middle aged single “ (Wow, I hate this term, but it’s for comparative purposes only!) is a mature adult and, if they were saved as a child or teenager, they may have been a Christian for decades. Many times they already experience the fruit – both good and bad – of their character and choices formed earlier in life. They’ve experienced disappointment and often suffer in general on a deeper level than most young adults. What should community with older singles look like? There have always been older single women at the church. Some are lifelong single women, some are divorced, some are widowed, and some are navigating relational complexities that few people may be aware of. There aren’t just women in their 30s but also their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and even 90s. Some have a family network but many don’t. What does it look like to remind such women that they are seen and cared for, even though they may never marry/remarry? What does it look like to care for “older “single women, not just see them as “able to serve” or “able to mentor” because they are unattached? This is not a criticism of the church. I love my church and I feel seen/cared for by so many brothers and sisters in Christ, but I do think that my generation is seeing more and more aging unmarried women within the church walls. Singleness IS a gift, but it can also be scary and lonely especially in crisis, unexpected expenses, and navigating health issues alone. Would you pray with me that God would provide “home,” provide families to closely walk along side them, and protection for the many older singles (both men and women) in our churches? That God would remind them that they are seen, they are loved, and that eternal joy is coming one day?
